Yesterday I started a series of blog posts talking about insecurities I have had to deal with as a leader and a pastor. The second set of insecurities I deal with have to do with the role of being a pastor.
Once Moses overcame the shock that God wanted to use him he quickly had to tackle the next insecurity which dealt with WHAT God wanted him to do.
Some people sign up to be a pastor…Not Me, I got drafted!
I never desired to “pastor” a church. I was completely content as a Student Pastor and then God had to start messing with my plans.
I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again, “The problem with me is that I know me.” I know what I’m good at and what I’m not. I also know that Pastors do all kinds of stuff that I had never done before. I was no longer focused on “my” ministry but on the whole stinking thing. At the end of the day people were looking at me to make decisions and it was paralyzing.
I’ll never forget when we had to make a decision to purchase $67,000 worth of equipment with $0 in the bank. I knew what we needed to do but I was scared to death to pull the trigger. Thankfully, I have had great people around me like my executive Pastor Daryl Strickland who helped me make tough decisions.
My lack of knowledge and experience oftentimes caused me to shy away from big or tough decisions. I was never comfortable meeting with people older than me. It took several years for me to become comfortable with the fact that I may not know what I am doing or what the next step is but God does and He has everything I need to do what He has called me to do! My job is to FOLLOW Him and do what HE tells me to do.
How about you? What aspect of your role causes you to feel insecure?
Thanks for your transparency.
I was thinking of writing a book entitled, “Things About Which I Am Totally Secure,” but then I realized I could write all of that on one index card. Thank you Pastor. If someone with your obvious skills and talent and giftedness is insecure from time to time and admits it, it sure makes the rest of us feel alot more normal. We love you mister, and of that you may be SECURE!